I didn’t intend on having children. Like at all, none, zero, zilch, and now I have two beautiful hyper girls that are a year and ten days apart. Neither of them was planned but my husband and I knew what we were doing if you know what I mean lol. My children are the greatest thing to happen to me. They helped me grow as a person and realize how strong I really am. Although I am not in this alone, being a mom has shown me a strength I never knew I had.
Motherhood is very difficult, it is not a one way street with freshly paved asphalt. Motherhood tests you in ways you have never been tested. Lacked patience? Your kids will teach you that. Didn’t know what you were capable of as a person? Your children will show you how awesome you really are. Questioned your existence? You kids now give you purpose.
You’ll be winging it a lot
After your first child, all that jazz you learned through books and online reading is out the window. At least some of it. You will realize that google is your best friend and mom groups on Facebook are a God-send. You thought your life was crazy with one child, well buckle up sweetie, it’s two now!
You might have to deal with jealousy, frustration, and sadness in the beginning but once they grow up together it all changes. At least for us, it did. Jai’Marie was so mean (as mean as a baby can be) to Jai’Lynn the first couple years of her life. Jai’Lynn will be three this year lol so that gives you some perspective. They’re getting along better now that Jai’Lynn is able to stand her ground.
Ask for help
This is key to having more than one child. You are going to need help whether you are ready to admit it or not. They say it takes a village to raise a child and if you have more than one so get to askin’! This is something I still struggle with — asking for help. I have always been this way.
Unless you’re my mom, mother-in-law or husband I’m not going to ask you to watch my kids. It’s nothing personal I just don’t want to put that pressure on anyone else. (grandparents don’t count lol) But I am here to tell you it is VITAL that you ask for help. For your sake and the sake of your children. Read my post ‘5 Things They Don’t Tell You About Motherhood’ here.
They are individuals
When you have two kids, especially ones that are close in age you will oftentimes find yourself doing the same thing for both of them. For instance, doing their hair the same, dressing them the same, feeding them the same, and playing with them the same. Your children are little humans who are going to grow up to be big adults.
They are separate entities that require different things. Just because they both came from you doesn’t mean they are the same person. Learn your child. Spend time with them individually to better learn their uniqueness. Am I still struggling with this, a little, but as they grow I am learning and motherhood is all about learning.
Benefits of having two or more children
Oh, the benefits! Having two children is like birthing two best friends. Yes, they are going to fight — they’re siblings, it comes with the territory. But their bond is going to be unmatched. They can teach each other new things, they have a playmate at all times, and they can learn social skills while at home. If you have a kid that is significantly older than your other child you have a free babysitter! But don’t take advantage of this because that can have a negative impact on the child doing the babysitting.
Being a parent of two was such a blessing for my husband and me. At first, it was a lot to handle but because we had a village and learned to ask for help it became easier. Remember that although you have multiples they are still individuals in their own right. Take the time to get to know each child by spending time with them one on one. Reap the benefits of having more than one child and be grateful that they have each other in his crazy world.